YOU, my darling, matter

written by Claire Tammaro

By no means do I want to take away the excitement of pregnancy announcements, gender reveals, or maternity try-ons. The discussion of first trimester symptoms, new born must-haves and hospital bag packing lists that I’ve been seeing a lot of lately on social media…Pregnancy is AMAZING news and should be celebrated!
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The thing I love about having a social media platform is it’s an awesome place to share news with the world and share in excitement with others! Having said that, we see 99% of the good things in life (on social media) but rarely see the bad. I get it. Who wants to see or read a post about the “negative” things in life anyway? But, while we know this to be true–that we’re seeing the rainbows and not the rain–it can still feel isolating, 
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That being said, amongst the celebrations, I really want to acknowledge those who are struggling with infertility, IVF, “trying”, miscarriage or the decision of even wanting to have kids. Because, in this aspect, social media can be a dark place. It can be feel very lonely. Make you sad. It can mess with your mind in MANY ways. It’s not that you aren’t happy for those friends posting the happy news, but it makes your heart yearn for things you’re not sure you’ll ever have.
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For those who are struggling I see you. I feel you. I am here for you.
I ALSO struggle with it daily on social media and that’s OK. I am not ashamed to admit it or say it out loud. I am human.
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I don’t want to sound hypocritical. Coming from a place where I’ve experienced both ends of the spectrum on social media (I’ve posted announcements, a gender reveal, belly pics, etc) and to be honest, it never even crossed my mind that it may be a hard thing for some people struggling with infertility to see. The second time around I posted at only 8 weeks (knowing it was risky) and miscarried at 12. Having gone through that, in a way I feel like I learned a lot. I talked to a lot of you about it. A lot of us are/ were going through similar things and I vow to approach it much differently next time (if there is one). I want my use of this platform to be a safe place for all of you.
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Pregnant or not pregnant: you, my darling matter. We all have purpose, for some of us it just takes a little longer to find or understand. And I know you’re probably sick of hearing this but I truly believe EVERYTHING  happens for a reason. And that it will all make sense some day. 

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